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Parents! We are Working Castles

May 26, 2016
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Imagine you’re a castle. Where would you be? On a cliff overlooking a turbulent sea, at the edge of a forest, on a hilltop surrounded by green pastures?

Is there a moat with a drawbridge or are you in the middle of a lake? Do you stand alone or are you the centerpiece of a busy village?

What about the guards whose job it is to protect your castle? Do they stand at alert with weapons in hand or are they playing solitaire on an overturned barrel?

As you enter, imagine the interior architecture of your castle. How many rooms and corridors are there? Is it a simple design or do you need a map to find your way around?

Are there guards or is the interior undefended? Can visitors move freely about or are there cordoned off areas no one has entered for years, rooms you forgot existed?

Is your castle a fortress built to protect or impress or is it a refuge?

***

Everyone we know must enter through the front gates. Everyone except our children. This is because they are born inside our castle walls. This fact is what makes the parent-child relationship different than any other relationship in our lives.

We spend a lifetime building a defense system, which in a single moment is undone by the arrival of our very own child. We find ourselves more vulnerable than we’ve ever been before, making our greatest parenting challenge figuring out the meaning and purpose of this vulnerability.

What Parents Are Saying

"Kimberly asks hard questions, and holds my feet to the fire. She has a gift for asking the right questions, and coming up with strategies that are manageable, comprehensible and always on target. "
- Single mother of two adopted boys (ages 9 &13)
"Kimberly has been a God-send to me. She always gets where I’m coming from and supports me while giving me guidance, tools and hope. "
- Single mother of one (18)
"Her approach is caring, no-nonsense and action oriented. I would definitely recommend her."
- Single father of three (ages 9, 9 & 12)
"We sometimes wonder how we managed as parents before we met (Kimberly)! We feel more confident and calm as we parent our kids together. "
- Father of two (ages 3 & 5)
"She is superb at finding the right balance of coaching, guidance and providing practical tools. She is insightful and encouraging but also knows when to provide the necessary push me to look deeper at my reactions to given situations. ... I strongly urge any parent to work with Kimberly, especially when a parent is confronted with recurring challenging interaction with your child."
- Mother and stepmother of four teenagers
""Thank you for believing in me, Kimberly! You made me realize that there is hope and I appreciate your sincerity and kindness.""
- Mom of 2 under 4