How Parents Grow - Staying Put - Kimberly Hackett

How Parents Grow – Staying Put

Boat on Lake

Staying Put is at first uncomfortable. It goes against our need to Do – Do – Do. Who do you listen to more – the need to stay busy or the invitation to stop moving?

What exactly is staying put?

To stay put means to park your mind for a few minutes when it wants only to race. “Wait,” you say to yourself, “I’m going to do this differently. I’m going to stop and get my bearings.” You’re parking your mind car and turning off the engine. Because if you don’t, you might crash. That’s how fast your Busy (protector) is going.

When I arrived at our vacation place in a remote Ontario, Canada yesterday, I noticed my Busy was still in overdrive. As a result, I couldn’t appreciate the beauty surrounding me.

We forget how fast we’re going. It’s like driving on a freeway. You’re mindlessly speeding because everyone is speeding as well.

Staying put is the practice of pausing. Of pulling over. It’s choosing your own pace. It’s seeing. It’s feeling. It’s taking charge.

Sometimes on an exceptionally sunny, cold, winter day, after dropping my kids off at school, I would sit in my car with the engine off and let the sun take over. My Busy always slowed down.

I was staying put.

The sun made it easy and the kids were at school. Staying put is much harder when kids are home and underfoot.

How often do you stay put (pause) in the middle of your busy life? Or do you push through to get to a destination you believe is better than where you are now?

What’s that place you’re trying to get to? Is it bedtime? Netflix time? Wine time?

What would happen if you stayed put? If you didn’t Do anything when you so wanted to do something? Instead, you sat down, lay down in the middle of the floor, found your breath, noticed the sun, felt the crisp air, the floor beneath your feet?

Staying put, even for a few minutes is a choice and a practice. Know that when you choose to stay put, you change directions. You might continue down the same road, but Busy is no longer in charge. You might try something new. You won’t know unless you try.


It makes all the difference in the world.

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