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Parenting is an Invitation to Dig In

October 02, 2017
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Parenting is such boots-on-the-ground work. There’s just no way around what needs to get done each day. Yet you keep showing up. You have to. As the saying goes, what doesn’t break you makes you stronger. 

But parenting can’t just be work and sacrifice. It’s why so many parents get frustrated at their kids, “Look what I’m doing for you. Can’t you at least do this little thing for me?”

Parents want to laugh, relax, hang out with their kids, reap the rewards of their devotion and hard work, because they know how fleeting these years are. Two weekends ago I walked my oldest son down the aisle. 

Being a parent can feel like living on the front lines of one’s own life, causing us to live in a chronic state of high alert. Parents have to work, make money, manage the home, love and care for children, each other, themselves. Everyday. Year after year. 

The pressure, friction, discomfort parents experience is how you know something needs changing but change takes time and practice, things hard to come by in a parent's busy life. 

Parents can rearrange schedules and get the help they need but the real help comes when you become your own best friend and advocate, when you parent the parent, or more specifically, when you know and love your inner world. 

There are no quick fixes or “a right way” to parent as many parenting books would like you to believe because parents should never be actors performing scripts. Parenting is first and foremost about honest relationship building. It’s a relationship with your child and partner but it’s also very much a relationship with yourself.

Being in an honest relationship means living with truth and responsibility and owning the power you have to change what’s not working, which is also the definition of maturity. Immaturity is youthful and reactionary, blaming others for our troubles, not realizing the answers we seek live in us. 

When becoming a parent, we find ourselves on a road of self-discovery but we must choose to own our discovery or else it will elude us. How we face parenting challenges is ultimately what defines us, not just as a parent but also as a human being.

 

 

 

What Parents Are Saying

"At the risk of sounding melodramatic, I often credit Kimberly with saving our lives – at the very least, she’s provided us with support that has dramatically changed our lives. Kimberly asks hard questions, and holds my feet to the fire. She has a gift for asking the right questions, and coming up with strategies that are manageable, comprehensible and always on target. I can’t say enough about her skills and talents. I would highly recommend her to any struggling family."
- Single mother of two adopted boys (ages 9 &13)
"Kimberly has been a God-send to me. She always gets where I’m coming from and supports me while giving me guidance, tools and hope. She has a clear, incisive, on-target vision of parenting and individual growth. She has repeatedly helped me come out of murky confusion into clarity, out of anxiety, fear and worry into feeling empowered, and out of goofing up into acting wisely."
- Single mother of an 18 year-old
"Kimberly’s approach is to focus on the parent first. She knows that to really tackle these situations the parent must see how their own issues are affecting the parent/child relationship. Her approach is caring, no-nonsense and action oriented. I would definitely recommend her."
- Single father of three (ages 9, 9, 12)
"I wanted to take just a minute to write a quick thank you for your services as a parent coach on behalf of myself and my wife. Although we have only worked together a few short months as we prepare for the birth of our third child, you have been nothing short of amazing. We sometimes wonder how we managed as parents before we met you! We feel more confident and calm as we parent our kids together. We look forward to continuing our work together and would and do highly recommend you to all parents, looking to be the parents they want to be an the parents their kids need them to be!"
- Father of two (ages 3 & 5)
"I worked with Kimberly recently for some parent coaching in resolving issues with my teenager. She is superb at finding the right balance of coaching, guidance and providing practical tools. She is insightful and encouraging but also knows when to provide the necessary push me to look deeper at my reactions to given situations. She advocates using curiosity to manage difficult situations, and has equipped me with tools that I am using every day. I will continue working with Kimberly going forward so that I can “be the parent that my child needs me to be” (as Kimberly is fond of saying!) I strongly urge any parent to work with Kimberly, especially when a parent is confronted with recurring challenging interaction with your child."
- Mother and stepmother of four teenagers