(fictionalized coaching session) Andrew’s frustration at his children has a storyline. When asked what Frustration is thinking? Andrew answers, “It seems I can only get them to do what I want when I’m frustrated. It’s how I maintain control.” “When you’re frustrated, your kids listen to you.” “Mostly. Yes.” “So parenting from frustration is rewarded.
Patty is a single mom of 5-year-old Sammy. Every day after picking Sammy up from her after-school program, Patty feels tense. It begins as a low rumble in her belly. It’s caused by Sammy not listening or being unable to get Sammy to hear her. She’s not sure. Patty is always thrilled to see her
Hi Kimberly, We really enjoyed the parenting workshop last weekend. We tried the family meeting and are more aware of our reactivity and emotions. We realized we ask things of our kids that we’re not modeling ourselves. We’re working on verbalizing our feelings as a healthy habit for ourselves but also for our kids. Overall,
Last Saturday 18 fearless parents gave up their Saturday morning to talk about the power, potential and problem when parenting from reactivity. Here are my takeaways from the first Parenting You workshop Parenting is deep, profound, courageous, vulnerable relationship work. There’s no one script or how-to parenting book you can follow. Parenting is about connection, connection, connection and
“You don’t understand.” “What is it? What’s wrong?” Terry’s 14-year-old son, Andre, is refusing to go to school. Terry is frantic with worry and frustration. “I’ve tried everything. Screaming, threatening, blackmail, standing over him every morning and ripping the sheets off his bed. It makes me feel like I’m a bad mother. If I was
Justine and her boys burrow together on the sofa watching Pirates of the Caribbean. When she stands, Jacob whines and Justine feels a flash of annoyance. Immediately she sits down, telling herself a “good mother” stays with her children even when she doesn’t want to. An hour later when it’s time for bed, the boys
Parenting is such boots-on-the-ground work. There’s just no way around what needs to get done each day. Yet you keep showing up. You have to. As the saying goes, what doesn’t break you makes you stronger. But parenting can’t just be work and sacrifice. It’s why so many parents get frustrated at their kids, “Look
Last night in the parent group, we talked about Busyness being a guard. It got me thinking about pond skaters, the water bug that glides, skips and skates on pond surfaces. Busyness is like pond skating. It keeps us from stopping in place, from staying put, from being present. We’re constantly moving to stay afloat.
Overhearing snatches of conversation I look up and see two men talking at a nearby table. I guess they’re new acquaintances. Two women embrace by the window. “You look great” one says to the other. They settle into an easy conversation, where the men seem reserved but relaxed. There is a balancing act that happens
In a near perfect world we would be family. We would not hate or fear, or intentionally hurt one another. We would feel safe in our towns, homes, schools and skin. There would be no denunciation or blocking of difference. We would enjoy eccentricity and promote creativity. We would see need and act. Truth, trust